


Assessing the Situation

by keelywolfe



Series: by any other name [105]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Prejudice Against Monsters (Undertale), Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelywolfe/pseuds/keelywolfe
Summary: Edge needs a mental health assessment to continue working at the Embassy.
Relationships: Papcest, Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Spicyhoney, Underfell Papyrus/Underswap Papyrus
Series: by any other name [105]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1039829
Comments: 34
Kudos: 107





	Assessing the Situation

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a therapist! My psych classes were a long time ago and I only have my own experiences to go by, so hey, take all of this with a grain of salt. 
> 
> Please be aware there is a mention of past suicidal thoughts, in case you find that triggering.

* * *

Doctor Lee resisted the urge to recross her legs as she watched her newest patient prowl around her office, inspecting the shelves. The tall skeleton’s expression did not change as he looked at the books and knickknacks, the plants that required only the barest minimum of sunlight and care. 

“Your office is very clean,” Edge announced. 

“I’ll be sure to relay that to the janitorial staff,” Lee said lightly. “I’m certain they’ll appreciate it.” She’d meant it as somewhat humorous, but Edge only nodded solemnly and still did not sit. 

Doctor Lee only waited. Technically, her sessions usually ran about an hour, give or take depending on a patient’s current state or breakthrough. She took on patients sparingly and could afford to be discriminating. Her PhD was in Psychology and these days she was considering adding a clinical Monster psych specializing in PTSD to her resume. It was certainly an underappreciated field, though in her opinion, not an unexpected one. Monsters coming to the surface after years of being imprisoned under a Mountain, most for their entire lifetime and there were certain other issues that she couldn’t have begun to guess at when the first call came into her office. Alternate universes with alternate people, each with their own surrounding phenomenon; it was something of a learning experience for all of them. But trauma was trauma, that was her specialty and it was admittedly satisfying helping these people, and yes, they were people despite what a few of her so-called colleagues thought. These people needed her kind of help and Lee was here to offer it, in whatever way their trauma necessitated.

If that meant waiting for a skeleton whose visible scars likely only scratched the surface of his internal ones to become comfortable enough to sit, she would.

Doctor Lee had been in practice for some time before Monsters arrived in Ebott. She was middle-aged and in good health. Her carefully coiffed hair was naturally gray. No one would call her beautiful, but often she’d been described as handsome, with a certain resemblance to Glenn Close. 

Considering resemblances, Edge held only the slightest to his husband. His appearance was likely a little disconcerting to most humans when they first met him, startling to people who weren’t used to seeing bare skulls outside of a filmed production. It was an unfortunate consequence of Monsters entering into the realm of myth before they resurfaced. There was no getting around the fact that in appearance, Monsters were very different than humans, and nothing but time would ease it. Of all the skeletons she’d met thus far, Edge was likely the most intimidating, with his glaring red eye lights and his fiercely sharp teeth. The natty way he was dressed was nearly incongruous, the line of his sleek, professional suit broken only by the splint strapped around one leg. The contrast to Papyrus’s near slovenliness was a point of interest, one that she discreetly added to her notes.

Normally, she wouldn’t have taken on a patient who was related to anyone she was already seeing; it could make for at best a conflict of interest and at worst, unconsciously taking sides. She’d already made an exception for Papyrus since she was already seeing Sans, but in their situation, she’d felt her familiarity with what Sans called ‘resets’ would be an advantage.

This was a special case and despite a discrete call from King Asgore encouraging her to take it on, she still wouldn’t have if she didn’t truly believe she could handle it, and she did. So she waited until Edge finally chose one of the chairs, settling into it with uncomfortably straight posture and looking directly at her with an intent crimson gaze. “I suppose you want to discuss the events in California.”

“We can,” Doctor Lee said, easily, “Do you want to talk about them?”

“No. But that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” Edge said. His voice was crisp, businesslike, as if calling a meeting into order. “I’m here for you to give me a mental health assessment.”

“I’m only supposed to judge whether or not you should be back to work. We can talk about anything you like.”

“And if I don’t want to talk about anything?”

“That would be your choice,” Doctor Lee said, holding that calm, easy tone. “But it would make it difficult for me to make an assessment.”

Edge looked away, down at his trousers, frowning as he picked away invisible lint. “My husband doesn’t know I’m here. Not yet. Stretch. You told me before that he asked you to call him Papyrus.”

“I can’t discuss his therapy,” she began warningly 

Edge waved that away. “I know that, I won’t ask. Did you know that my name is Papyrus as well?”

“I didn’t,” she admitted. She also did not write it down. Patients like this one were why she no longer wore glasses, to keep them from reading what she wrote in their reflection. 

Now that he had a topic, Edge seemed to latch onto it. “That’s a rather long story. To simplify it, when I came here there were three of us named Papyrus and it was decided we needed nicknames. He took the name Stretch and I became Edge.” A pause, almost too brief to note, “There are times I think I shed the name Papyrus with unseemly haste, but the truth is, I don’t miss it. Stretch is less content with the choice, I think.” Edge fell into a considering silence, then said, “Do you suppose that it’s weaker to be so willing to abandon yourself than to try to remake it?”

Interesting and unexpected. Carefully, Doctor Lee asked, “Why would it be weaker?”

He didn’t answer that, only went on, “In my world…my former world…being unable to protect what’s yours is…was… a death sentence. Stretch usually allows me the illusion that I’m protecting him. And it is an illusion.” Edge seemed unaware of the way his hand drifted, fingering the Velcro straps of his leg splint. “He lets me care for him because he understands.” Edge smiled a little and the change in his face was remarkable, the way the sudden fond warmth eased the stark lines, “And I’m sure he enjoys it as much as I enjoy caring for him. I want to do little things for him, you understand? I want to make him happy.”

Another long silence that Doctor Lee made no attempt to fill, waiting until Edge spoke again, “You’re aware that he is much braver than I am.”

“Is he?” Lee said, neutrally. She set aside her notepad and instead, knotted her hands in her lap.

Edge nodded. “Oh, yes. It’s easy for me to play at courage. Stand and attack, stand and defend. But he comes in here,” he gestured vaguely at the room, “and opens his soul to you. You don’t think that’s brave?”

“I do, actually. It can be very difficult to take that first step,” Lee hesitated, then added, “I’m not sure I ever expected you to be in my office like this.”

“So you do think I’m less courageous than he is,” Edge countered, “that I would be unwilling to do what I’d demanded of him?” He smiled faintly. “You’re right. We wouldn’t be together much less married if Stretch…Papyrus… weren’t more courageous than I am.”

“Edge, you encouraged Stretch to come to therapy.” That was hardly breaking confidence to say.

“No.” He shook his head. “I forced him to come with an ultimatum.”

“Why?”

“Because he was hurting, and I couldn’t stand to see it. I was too weak to see it.” Edge hesitated, “I…I don’t know what he’s told you.”

Doctor Lee only sat, waiting.

“He’s been through so much and he allows me to protect him, as if he needs me,” Edge chuckled humorlessly. “Even I don’t know all the details of what he went through. People are always morbidly fascinated with Underfell, that I survived it, that I have LV. None of them look at Stretch and have any idea the strength he possesses. He made it through a living hell and still has it in himself to smile.

“So yes, I want him to have therapy. I want him to be able to feel safe and protected without lifting a finger of his own. I want him to feel loved because I love him.” A laundry list of wants, only for him to add, softer, “And perhaps it pains me to know what he’s been through but that’s nothing in comparison to what it’s done to him.”

He stood abruptly and wandered over to the window where bright sunshine was pouring in. Outside, she knew there was a tree, a strip of grassy land with a landscaped border of flowers before it led to the parking lot. Edge looked out the window as he said, softly, “The greatest shame of my life is that I didn’t realize when we first met that he wanted to die, and he simply couldn’t do it himself.”

Doctor Lee knew that situation, remembered the day, many therapy appointments in when Papyrus finally spoke so flatly about his past suicidal thoughts until that unfeelingness broke down somewhere in the middle into tears and she suspected very much that Edge did not. “It isn’t your fault you didn’t realize.”

“No, it’s not,” Edge said agreeably and every word was a denial. He slanted a glance back at Doctor Lee. “Did he ever tell you about our first kiss?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” she countered. 

Closed his sockets briefly, opened them, then stepped away from the window. He moved restlessly, tucking his hands into his pockets. Perhaps resisting the urge to fidget. “I’m not here to discuss that,” he said, then almost immediately after, “He’s my everything.”

“Do you think that’s a good thing, for him to be everything for you?”

The look he cast her way was scathing. “You aren’t clever, and I was being hyperbolic. Obviously, I have other things in my life and so does he, we have plenty of our own hobbies, our own work.”

“All right.” Neutral, gentle, as she watched Edge pace, again prowling her office, this time with the restless energy of a caged tiger. 

“He can be so frustrating!” A sudden burst of almost unwilling words, “He keeps secrets from me, but he’ll show me his very essence and I tell him nothing but truths and can’t do the same!”

“His essence?” Doctor Lee leaned forward, intrigued. “That doesn’t sound like a metaphor.”

“It’s not. He’ll let me see his soul,” Edge whispered, hushed and reverent. He pulled his hands out of his pockets to look at his spread, empty fingers, the thin bones covered by black gloves. “Let me touch it. That’s an incredibly intimate thing to Monsters. It takes an extreme amount of trust. His soul is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and when I hold it, I can feel how much he loves me. And I can’t show him mine in return.” 

He fell silent. “Why not?” Doctor Lee asked, offering him the question he seemed to need.

“Because!” Edge snarled. He was breathing harshly, heaving, and she held her own breath, almost ready to call an end to this session; it was already far deeper than she’d expected to delve in a first appointment, falling down a mine shaft in terms of psychology, and she could only wonder how long he’d been waiting to say these things, how long they’d been trapped festering inside him, dammed up until the floodgates broke. He took a long, steadying breath, another, then said, achingly soft, “Because if he looked at the very essence of my being and rejected me, I…I couldn’t—I know he wouldn’t. I know that. And by equal measure, I know he would. That if he saw what I truly am, he would. Is it selfish of me to not want to take the chance?”

Doctor Lee chose her words carefully, “I’m not sure I’m qualified to judge anything about sharing souls. But I know that Humans can have a difficult time sharing their most intimate secrets with others. I don’t think that it makes you selfish to have a difficult time making yourself vulnerable.”

It was the wrong thing to say. She realized it almost immediately as his expression closed off. Edge nodded stiffly and made an obvious show of glancing at his phone as he said dismissively, “I believe our time is up, thank you for seeing me, Doctor—”

“Edge, why are you here?” Doctor Lee interrupted. She spread her hands, indicating her clean office, with its cozy chairs and uncomfortable questions. “What do you want from this?”

“I needed an assessment to return to work,” he said immediately, “I have a responsibility to our kind and they need me. Rus trusts you with his mental health, so I must be able to trust you with mine.”

She had no doubt he truly believed that, as far as that went. “What is it you think Papyrus wants from me?”

Edge frowned. “He needs professional support and you provide it.”

“Yes.” She studied him closely. “Do you resent that?”

It could be difficult for her to accurately assess a Monster’s facial expressions, but there was no mistaking Edge’s sudden sharp anger as he snapped out, “Why would I resent him for things he can’t control?”

“I didn’t ask if you resented him,” Cool, calm, always. “I asked if you resented that I can support him when you can’t.”

That flash of anger collapsed inwardly and for the briefest moment, Edge looked uncertain, “I…no. No, it’s only…I want to support him, but in some areas, I simply can’t.” And then, as if his own honesty was upsetting, “But I would never make him feel that I resent him!”

“Of course not,” Doctor Lee soothed, “That’s why I’m here, to give you a place to direct that anger and resentment. I can be your lightning rod if that’s what you need.”

“I’m not sure what I need,” Edge admitted. That it displeased him was obvious. Doctor Lee was positive that this was a person who did not like being unsure about anything.

She hadn’t been sure herself, at first, whether she could accept him as a patient past the assessment. Now she only said, “We could work on that, too. If you want.”

He stood there silently, and she didn’t think she imagined the lingering flicker of his uncertainty.

“Do you know why Papyrus really came to see me, that first time?” Doctor Lee said. She waited, holding back the answer until Edge shook his head. “Because the truth is, he wanted help. I can’t offer that to someone who is completely adverse. Can I be frank with you?”

“I’d prefer it.”

“Yes, therapy might help you. But it isn’t a requirement. You’re getting through your day to day life without issues, am I correct?”

“You are.”

“And sleeping through your nights. You’re happy enough with your status quo. Would therapy help? It might. Growth can be painful,” she said, and it wasn’t a warning, only a truth, “But we are usually better for it. If you decide to eventually try therapy, it will be here when you’re ready.”

Edge nodded, slowly, and seemed to be considering her words. He said, “I still need an assessment done. Will you send one to Asgore?”

“I was prepared to send that right when you proved you were able to walk through my door,” Doctor Lee admitted, “I think you’re perfectly capable of returning to work.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Edge gave her a formal nod and only waited for her to return it before he turned on his heel and walked out, hindered only by his slight limp.

She watched him go and waited until the door closed behind him before she sighed, deeply. She could only help those who wanted to be helped and that was the truth, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t be frustrated when the offered hand was ignored. 

Her notepad was still sitting on the side table. She picked it up and instead of working on her notes, doodled a little picture of a chicken, cartoonishly absurd. Papyrus kept chickens and spoke about them often with great fondness. Once, he’d even brought her a carton of eggs, after nervously asking her about the ethics of such a gift. They’d been delicious poached on toast.

She was adding a cartoon bubble over its head with the unimaginative dialogue of ‘cluck it’ when her phone buzzed with a text message. She picked up the phone and unlocked it, reading the message from a known, unexpected number.

_Please let me know your available appointment times for next week._

Doctor Lee smiled. 

-finis-


End file.
